I had a conversation this afternoon with a dear friend of mine, who was trying to decide if she should continue a difficult relationship with someone she loves. I was being completely unhelpful by saying that I would not judge her in the slightest if she stayed, but that I wanted to impress upon her just how difficult things could get if she did stay. At the end of the conversation, we realized that what it came down to was "Was it worth it?". I had no answer for her and I just felt really bad about the situation she was in.
What was really interesting was that 2 months prior, I was telling her how GREAT relationships could be. She was hesitant to fall in love, especially because she was very aware of a difficult relationship that I was dealing with/ending. But I continued to INSIST that it was totally worth it. The heart-ache, the pain, the emotional insecurity was a totally fair price because being in love, being in a relationship was AWESOME. I used the analogy that when you are in a relationship, you are greater than the sum of your parts. 1+1=3. But today, one plus one equaled negative 6.
Then I thought about my other two friends who were dealing with similar situations. They truly loved the person they were with, but there were external factors that were literally tearing them up inside. All of their emotional energy was being spent on their relationships, as they struggled to decide if it was worth it. Was it worth hurting my parents, was it worth changing my beliefs, was it worth hurting myself? What do I believe, how important are these things to me, how important is this relationship to me, I don't want to hurt him, but maybe I have to, can I handle this discrepancy in our feelings, what is right, what is wrong? Do I even want to put this much energy into this relationship? A great amount of stress and anxiety was expressed. It was very difficult to watch.
And always it would come down to that same question: Is it worth it? To be honest, I don't know. As I watched my friends in pain, and I thought about my own pain and emotional stress that I was experiencing over a failed relationship, I thought "Nope, we should all just get vibrators instead." But of course my friend pointed out the conversation we had had 2 months ago and expressed he facetious disappointment at my cynicism.
But the fact remained, NONE of us knew if it was worth it! I mean, at the end of the day, what was gained from the heartache? I look at past relationships, seeing what was gained from the heartache and I find that I had nothing. I don't look back at the breakup with my first love and think "Wow, I learned a lot from that." I think "God that was an awful time, I'm glad that's over." I look at what I'm going through right now and I think, "Can this PLEASE be over now?!" It's just awful, ticking off the days until you feel nothing. But even after the months and years have done their job and healed your wound, you find that two years later you scrape your heart against something new and it breaks wide open again; maybe for a moment, maybe for a day, but still there, reminding you of the pain that shadows all the goodness that you felt when you were in love.
I would like to sit here and say that we learn things from each relationship, and that being in love is so worth it. Two months ago I did. But as I watch my friends struggle with their decision to end or continue their relationships, I just can't muster up the optimism. All I think is "No. No it's not worth it. It's just too hard. It's better to love your friends, your family, yourself, and leave the romance to poems and movies. Because the reality is much more bloody, much more damaging, and simply much harder than the movies would like to admit."
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Comparing Cancer Survival Rates
This is for you Kris ;)
My sister told me to compare the cancer survival rates in this country compared to countries with socialized health care. Because I was thoroughly sick of doing my homework, I did and this is what I found:
Survival rates of breast cancer patients
Sweden:82%
Japan: 81.6%
Australia:80.7%
Canada: 82.5%
USA: 84%
The US is slightly better, but I hardly think it's a smoking gun. Lets look at some more cancers:
Colon Cancer
Canada: Men-56.1%, Women-58.7%
USA: Men-60.1%, Women-60.1%
Australia: Men-57.8%, Women-57.7%
Japan: Men-63.0%, Women-57.1%
Rectal Cancer
Canada: Men-53.1%, Women-58.7%
USA: Men-56.9%, Women-59.8%
Japan: Men-58.2%, Women-57.6%
Australia: Men-54.8%, Women-59.6%
Definitely not a smoking gun. There is also a table in this article that shows that France comes in at number one for survival rates for women with rectal AND Colon cancer. (Cuba is in there too but they symbolically throw out the data by mentioning that the numbers were inflated and unrealistic and probably doctored by the government).
Now here's what's REALLY interesting about this study. They did a detailed analysis of survival rates in America based on several different factors including race and location. What I find very interesting is that African Americans (who are typically part of the urban poor) had significantly lower survival rates across the board.
Colon Cancer
Black: 51-52%
White: 61%
Rectal
Black: Men-47.4%, Women-49.4%
White: Men-57.3%, Women-60.4%
Breast
Black: 70.9%
White: 84.7%
Now to me, THAT is a smoking gun. That is why we need universal health care. Because large groups of people do not have access to health care because they don't have the money or a good enough job to provide benefits. We need to prevent categorical discrimination across the board and providing universal health care is a decent place to start.
* All information in this blog comes from an article in the Lancet Oncology published by Michel Coleman and company (lots of company, too many to include here). Dr. Coleman is a professor of epidemiology and vital statistics. His web page is here http://www.lshtm.ac.uk/people/coleman.michel.
The link to his article is here http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=MImg&_imagekey=B6W85-4T0WDNG-1-8&_cdi=6645&_user=456938&_orig=browse&_coverDate=08%2F31%2F2008&_sk=999909991&view=c&wchp=dGLbVlW-zSkWA&md5=e52d016d278422ebcdf0b2b034167e83&ie=/sdarticle.pdf *
My sister told me to compare the cancer survival rates in this country compared to countries with socialized health care. Because I was thoroughly sick of doing my homework, I did and this is what I found:
Survival rates of breast cancer patients
Sweden:82%
Japan: 81.6%
Australia:80.7%
Canada: 82.5%
USA: 84%
The US is slightly better, but I hardly think it's a smoking gun. Lets look at some more cancers:
Colon Cancer
Canada: Men-56.1%, Women-58.7%
USA: Men-60.1%, Women-60.1%
Australia: Men-57.8%, Women-57.7%
Japan: Men-63.0%, Women-57.1%
Rectal Cancer
Canada: Men-53.1%, Women-58.7%
USA: Men-56.9%, Women-59.8%
Japan: Men-58.2%, Women-57.6%
Australia: Men-54.8%, Women-59.6%
Definitely not a smoking gun. There is also a table in this article that shows that France comes in at number one for survival rates for women with rectal AND Colon cancer. (Cuba is in there too but they symbolically throw out the data by mentioning that the numbers were inflated and unrealistic and probably doctored by the government).
Now here's what's REALLY interesting about this study. They did a detailed analysis of survival rates in America based on several different factors including race and location. What I find very interesting is that African Americans (who are typically part of the urban poor) had significantly lower survival rates across the board.
Colon Cancer
Black: 51-52%
White: 61%
Rectal
Black: Men-47.4%, Women-49.4%
White: Men-57.3%, Women-60.4%
Breast
Black: 70.9%
White: 84.7%
Now to me, THAT is a smoking gun. That is why we need universal health care. Because large groups of people do not have access to health care because they don't have the money or a good enough job to provide benefits. We need to prevent categorical discrimination across the board and providing universal health care is a decent place to start.
* All information in this blog comes from an article in the Lancet Oncology published by Michel Coleman and company (lots of company, too many to include here). Dr. Coleman is a professor of epidemiology and vital statistics. His web page is here http://www.lshtm.ac.uk/people/coleman.michel.
The link to his article is here http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=MImg&_imagekey=B6W85-4T0WDNG-1-8&_cdi=6645&_user=456938&_orig=browse&_coverDate=08%2F31%2F2008&_sk=999909991&view=c&wchp=dGLbVlW-zSkWA&md5=e52d016d278422ebcdf0b2b034167e83&ie=/sdarticle.pdf *
Monday, August 24, 2009
Consuming Buddha
About a year ago, I spent four months in Southeast Asia. While living in Thailand, I learned a great deal about Buddhism and found it to be a fascinating and deeply edifying religion. As part of my study there, I read a biography of Siddhartha Gautama (more commonly known as The Buddha). In this biography, the author described the physical and spiritual journey of Gautama and laid out the basic principles and teachings of Buddhism. The first set of these principles is known as the Four Noble Truths: Life is suffering, Suffering comes from desire, In order to stop suffering we must give up desire, We give up desire by following The Way.
Of course, all of this was written in a different language so I need expound on the term "Desire". This word or concept could also be described as craving, longing, covetousness, or attachment to the physical world. I personally like the phrase "attachment to the physical world" because it provides room for righteous desire like the desire to help people (something that Gautama was a big advocate of). It also shows us that attachment to people, while not negative (as covetousness would imply) is a major source of suffering.
For the purposes of this blog, however, I would like to focus on the concept of attachment to physical things. I once had a wonderful conversation with a monk in Chiang Mai about this concept. He explained to me that everything we "own" serves a functional purpose. We have shoes to protect our feet, we have clothes to protect our body. So if the reason we have shoes is to protect our feet, why do we need more than one? MAYBE two? Why do we need different colors or styles or brands? They all do the same thing perfectly well: They protect our feet. If we have clothes to protect our bodies, why do we need a whole closet full of robes? We only need two: one for wearing, one for washing. We don't need all these different colors or styles. If we do have all these different colors and styles, then we like one robe more than all the rest. We become attached to it. Then what happens when it gets ripped or stained? We are sad, we suffer. Or worse, what happens when someone else rips it or stains it? We are not only sad, we are angry as well. Now we cause suffering as well as feel suffering. The bottom line: the ownership or consumption of material goods for any other purpose than to meet the needs of life leads to attachment and suffering.
Now for the purpose of this blog. I recently decided that I needed more bangles in my life to match all my cute bohemian summer dresses (I know, the exact OPPOSITE of Buddhist non-consumerism). So I went to The Icing and was pleased to see all sorts of boho chic jewelry for my consumption. I don't go shopping very often though and I am somewhat behind the fashion times. Thus I was completely shocked when I saw all these little Buddha's on bracelets, necklaces, rings, scarves... There was actually a big gold Buddha on a massive gold chain necklace. Here I was faced with the opportunity to literally consume Buddha! My friends who knew I lived in a Buddhist country immediately started pointing out Buddhist motifs and saying I should buy them but I just couldn't do it. It was just too funny. Here we were, doing exactly what Buddha told us NOT to do (participating in consumerist materialism) by LITERALLY consuming Buddha. The irony was absolutely brilliant, especially because no one understood the irony! (I had to explain to my friends exactly why I was laughing).
For the first time in my life, I could appreciate the irony and hilarity of western orientalism. I can only imagine the essence that once was Buddha sitting up in the cosmos of Nirvana saying "Are you serious?!" Only he wouldn't say that because he would no longer be attached to his doctrine or his image, and he certainly wouldn't be angry. He would probably just have a little smirk on his non-existent face, shake his non-existent head and think "They'll get it eventually".
Of course, all of this was written in a different language so I need expound on the term "Desire". This word or concept could also be described as craving, longing, covetousness, or attachment to the physical world. I personally like the phrase "attachment to the physical world" because it provides room for righteous desire like the desire to help people (something that Gautama was a big advocate of). It also shows us that attachment to people, while not negative (as covetousness would imply) is a major source of suffering.
For the purposes of this blog, however, I would like to focus on the concept of attachment to physical things. I once had a wonderful conversation with a monk in Chiang Mai about this concept. He explained to me that everything we "own" serves a functional purpose. We have shoes to protect our feet, we have clothes to protect our body. So if the reason we have shoes is to protect our feet, why do we need more than one? MAYBE two? Why do we need different colors or styles or brands? They all do the same thing perfectly well: They protect our feet. If we have clothes to protect our bodies, why do we need a whole closet full of robes? We only need two: one for wearing, one for washing. We don't need all these different colors or styles. If we do have all these different colors and styles, then we like one robe more than all the rest. We become attached to it. Then what happens when it gets ripped or stained? We are sad, we suffer. Or worse, what happens when someone else rips it or stains it? We are not only sad, we are angry as well. Now we cause suffering as well as feel suffering. The bottom line: the ownership or consumption of material goods for any other purpose than to meet the needs of life leads to attachment and suffering.
Now for the purpose of this blog. I recently decided that I needed more bangles in my life to match all my cute bohemian summer dresses (I know, the exact OPPOSITE of Buddhist non-consumerism). So I went to The Icing and was pleased to see all sorts of boho chic jewelry for my consumption. I don't go shopping very often though and I am somewhat behind the fashion times. Thus I was completely shocked when I saw all these little Buddha's on bracelets, necklaces, rings, scarves... There was actually a big gold Buddha on a massive gold chain necklace. Here I was faced with the opportunity to literally consume Buddha! My friends who knew I lived in a Buddhist country immediately started pointing out Buddhist motifs and saying I should buy them but I just couldn't do it. It was just too funny. Here we were, doing exactly what Buddha told us NOT to do (participating in consumerist materialism) by LITERALLY consuming Buddha. The irony was absolutely brilliant, especially because no one understood the irony! (I had to explain to my friends exactly why I was laughing).
For the first time in my life, I could appreciate the irony and hilarity of western orientalism. I can only imagine the essence that once was Buddha sitting up in the cosmos of Nirvana saying "Are you serious?!" Only he wouldn't say that because he would no longer be attached to his doctrine or his image, and he certainly wouldn't be angry. He would probably just have a little smirk on his non-existent face, shake his non-existent head and think "They'll get it eventually".
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Because I Have Been Given Much
My roommate went to a singing testimony meeting today where people from the congregation would go up, say what they liked about a particular hymn, and then the congregation would sing that hymn. Below is one of the testimonies:
"I am going to sing this hymn because we only get to sing it once a year and I think that's just a shame. I'm going to sing "The Star Spangled Banner" because I just love this country so much and I'm so grateful I live here and I know it's the best country on earth, even with a socialist president ;) " He then proceeds to sing "The Star Spangled Banner" and everyone joins in enthusiastically.
Well, as you can imagine, I was SO SAD I missed this because lets be honest, I would have had a field day. But lets not fret friends, for we have the internet to come to my aid! I will now post the response I would have given, had I been blessed enough to attend such a meeting.
"I chose this next hymn we are going to sing because I am just so grateful to have the teachings of Jesus to guide us in our physical lives, as well as our spiritual. I am particularly grateful for the story of the wealthy young man who goes to the savior and asks what he must do to obtain salvation. The Lord tells him to give all he has to the needy, and follow him. Unfortunately, this blessed young man did not love the savior enough to share his physical blessings with his less fortunate brethren. I am grateful that none of us are like this young man. I am grateful that we belong to a global church that does not shy away from things like socialism, but instead has a history of holy revelation, like the Law of Consecration, or the Bishop's Storehouse. And most importantly, I am so glad we live in an apparently socialist country. A country that understands that when we have been given much, we too must give. For are we not all beggars? It is in this spirit, that I would like to sing Hymn 219, "Because I Have Been Given Much."
Because I have been given much, I too must give;
Because of thy great bounty, Lord, each day I live
I shall divide my gifts from thee
With every brother that I see
Who has the need of help from me.
Because I have been sheltered, fed by thy good care,
I cannot see another's lack and I not share
My glowing fire, my loaf of bread,
My roof's safe shelter overhead,
That he too may be comforted.
Because I have been blessed by thy great love, dear Lord,
I'll share thy love again, according to thy word.
I shall give love to those in need;
I'll show that love by word and deed:
Thus shall my thanks be thanks indeed.
"I am going to sing this hymn because we only get to sing it once a year and I think that's just a shame. I'm going to sing "The Star Spangled Banner" because I just love this country so much and I'm so grateful I live here and I know it's the best country on earth, even with a socialist president ;) " He then proceeds to sing "The Star Spangled Banner" and everyone joins in enthusiastically.
Well, as you can imagine, I was SO SAD I missed this because lets be honest, I would have had a field day. But lets not fret friends, for we have the internet to come to my aid! I will now post the response I would have given, had I been blessed enough to attend such a meeting.
"I chose this next hymn we are going to sing because I am just so grateful to have the teachings of Jesus to guide us in our physical lives, as well as our spiritual. I am particularly grateful for the story of the wealthy young man who goes to the savior and asks what he must do to obtain salvation. The Lord tells him to give all he has to the needy, and follow him. Unfortunately, this blessed young man did not love the savior enough to share his physical blessings with his less fortunate brethren. I am grateful that none of us are like this young man. I am grateful that we belong to a global church that does not shy away from things like socialism, but instead has a history of holy revelation, like the Law of Consecration, or the Bishop's Storehouse. And most importantly, I am so glad we live in an apparently socialist country. A country that understands that when we have been given much, we too must give. For are we not all beggars? It is in this spirit, that I would like to sing Hymn 219, "Because I Have Been Given Much."
Because I have been given much, I too must give;
Because of thy great bounty, Lord, each day I live
I shall divide my gifts from thee
With every brother that I see
Who has the need of help from me.
Because I have been sheltered, fed by thy good care,
I cannot see another's lack and I not share
My glowing fire, my loaf of bread,
My roof's safe shelter overhead,
That he too may be comforted.
Because I have been blessed by thy great love, dear Lord,
I'll share thy love again, according to thy word.
I shall give love to those in need;
I'll show that love by word and deed:
Thus shall my thanks be thanks indeed.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Absurdity Explained
I have a friend on Facebook whom I have never met, is not Mormon, and who has never been to BYU. She recently became aware of the Honor Code and was completely flabbergasted that anyone would agree to live by such ridiculous rules. To be fair, she willingly admitted the virtue of things like no drinking, drugs, or gratuitous sex, but she could not wrap her head around the idea of a beard card. She asked me to shed some light on the absurdity and this is my response. I post it here because I have many non-member friends that I am sure think the same things as Corrine about the Honor Code, although they have never said so out of fear of insulting me. I hope you enjoy my explanation.
Dear Corrine,
I'm not offended at all! Imagine feeling as annoyed and frustrated as you are right now for four years and you'll have an idea of how I feel. I have to say that seeing the Honor Code through your eyes was actually very interesting to me. I've always found it annoying, but to hear your absolute incredulity at the beard card thing is quite enlightening. I've never realized exactly HOW absurd it really is until right now.
BYU students owe our lovely dress and grooming restrictions to Ernest L Wilkinson, President of BYU from 1951 to 1971. Wilkinson came from a military background (navy to be exact) and was president during a very volatile time in our nation’s history. In an effort to dissuade BYU from getting sucked into the "Hippie Movement" he enacted a series of dress and grooming standards that aligned with his clean-cut military sensibilities. This included being clean shaven, men having short haircuts, and women being required to wear skirts (thankfully that at least has changed).
Fortunately, while these standards remain, not everyone in our church leadership consider them to be virtuous. Hugh Nibley, prominent Mormon scholar and considered by many to be the best professor and intellectual BYU has ever seen, said of the honor code, "The worst sinners, according to Jesus, are not the harlots and publicans, but the religious leaders with their insistence on proper dress and grooming, their careful observance of all the rules, their precious concern for status symbols, their strict legality, their pious patriotism... the haircut becomes the test of virtue in a world where Satan deceives and rules by appearances." (Waterman, Brian and Kagel, Brian Kagel. The Lord’s University: Freedom and Authority at BYU. 1998.) Hopefully someday we will listen to Hugh and stop being so petty, but looking at how the church is operating these days, and how BYU continues to grow in totalitarian practices, I doubt it.
As for the tea and coffee, this dates back to a revelation given to Joseph Smith in the mid-1800's that came to be known as "The Word of Wisdom". Among counsel to eat meat sparingly and going to bed early in order to wake up early, the revelation states to refrain from "hot drinks". It was several decades after the revelation was received that the church universally accepted this to mean coffee and tea. Indeed, coffee was drunk all the way into the 1900's by many church members. Today however (as Nibley quite rightly pointed out), our church has become obsessed with the appearance of righteousness instead of righteousness itself and drinking coffee is tantamount to drinking alcohol or doing weed on a regular basis. We are allowed to drink herbal tea, however, as long as there is no caffeine in it. For many, that is the rational for not drinking tea and coffee, although you would be hard-pressed not to find a Mormon that drinks Coke or Pepsi within 10 feet of you in Utah. Although I will say that at BYU, it is impossible to buy a caffeinated beverage. You have to come to school prepared with your big gulp or energy drink from 7-11.
As I stated before, you are not expelled for things like drinking coffee or tea (as I have had both), but you are not allowed to do anything on campus if you are unshaven or have pink hair. When I go to take tests, I have to wear a baseball cap; when we go to shows on campus, my guy friends have to shave; if I want to pick up my paycheck, I have to be sure to dress modestly. Of course, all of this is so arbitrary. Someone with power decided which laws were most important to keep (usually correlating with the ones that were the easiest to measure concretely) and we obsessively adhere to them. I actually have one friend who lived in Southeast Asia that states, "I will stop drinking tea when there are no more fat people in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir" (one of the most beloved institutions of our religion).
Anyway, I hope this message has shed some light on the absurdity of BYU. To be sure, it is still absurd, but at least you know where it comes from. As with any institution, conformity is key and Mormonism has NO SHORTAGE of conforming. If you ever have any more questions, please feel free to ask them! I am always open to discussion and am very hard to offend. :)
Your Friend,
Shannon
So a friend just informed me of WHY women are allowed to wear pants at BYU. Like I said, absurdity.
"The story takes place the spring prior to the code being adjusted. A young woman, can't remember her name, currently a Utah state senator, needed to take a final. However, she also was needed to help with farm chores on her family farm several hours awayShe went early to help with the chores and then raced back to BYU to take her final. The only problem was that she forgot to change out of her work clothes, so when she arrived at the testing center they denied her access due to not fitting the dress code. Enraged, with no other options, she went downstairs to the girl's bathroom and took off her jeans and tied her windbreaker around her waist to look like a skirt. She was admitted in to take her test. The next Monday she wrote an article for the university newspaper explaining her surprise that according to the honor code it's not ok to take a final in her jeans, but taking one in her panties is just fine. :):)The policy was changed for the new school year."
Dear Corrine,
I'm not offended at all! Imagine feeling as annoyed and frustrated as you are right now for four years and you'll have an idea of how I feel. I have to say that seeing the Honor Code through your eyes was actually very interesting to me. I've always found it annoying, but to hear your absolute incredulity at the beard card thing is quite enlightening. I've never realized exactly HOW absurd it really is until right now.
BYU students owe our lovely dress and grooming restrictions to Ernest L Wilkinson, President of BYU from 1951 to 1971. Wilkinson came from a military background (navy to be exact) and was president during a very volatile time in our nation’s history. In an effort to dissuade BYU from getting sucked into the "Hippie Movement" he enacted a series of dress and grooming standards that aligned with his clean-cut military sensibilities. This included being clean shaven, men having short haircuts, and women being required to wear skirts (thankfully that at least has changed).
Fortunately, while these standards remain, not everyone in our church leadership consider them to be virtuous. Hugh Nibley, prominent Mormon scholar and considered by many to be the best professor and intellectual BYU has ever seen, said of the honor code, "The worst sinners, according to Jesus, are not the harlots and publicans, but the religious leaders with their insistence on proper dress and grooming, their careful observance of all the rules, their precious concern for status symbols, their strict legality, their pious patriotism... the haircut becomes the test of virtue in a world where Satan deceives and rules by appearances." (Waterman, Brian and Kagel, Brian Kagel. The Lord’s University: Freedom and Authority at BYU. 1998.) Hopefully someday we will listen to Hugh and stop being so petty, but looking at how the church is operating these days, and how BYU continues to grow in totalitarian practices, I doubt it.
As for the tea and coffee, this dates back to a revelation given to Joseph Smith in the mid-1800's that came to be known as "The Word of Wisdom". Among counsel to eat meat sparingly and going to bed early in order to wake up early, the revelation states to refrain from "hot drinks". It was several decades after the revelation was received that the church universally accepted this to mean coffee and tea. Indeed, coffee was drunk all the way into the 1900's by many church members. Today however (as Nibley quite rightly pointed out), our church has become obsessed with the appearance of righteousness instead of righteousness itself and drinking coffee is tantamount to drinking alcohol or doing weed on a regular basis. We are allowed to drink herbal tea, however, as long as there is no caffeine in it. For many, that is the rational for not drinking tea and coffee, although you would be hard-pressed not to find a Mormon that drinks Coke or Pepsi within 10 feet of you in Utah. Although I will say that at BYU, it is impossible to buy a caffeinated beverage. You have to come to school prepared with your big gulp or energy drink from 7-11.
As I stated before, you are not expelled for things like drinking coffee or tea (as I have had both), but you are not allowed to do anything on campus if you are unshaven or have pink hair. When I go to take tests, I have to wear a baseball cap; when we go to shows on campus, my guy friends have to shave; if I want to pick up my paycheck, I have to be sure to dress modestly. Of course, all of this is so arbitrary. Someone with power decided which laws were most important to keep (usually correlating with the ones that were the easiest to measure concretely) and we obsessively adhere to them. I actually have one friend who lived in Southeast Asia that states, "I will stop drinking tea when there are no more fat people in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir" (one of the most beloved institutions of our religion).
Anyway, I hope this message has shed some light on the absurdity of BYU. To be sure, it is still absurd, but at least you know where it comes from. As with any institution, conformity is key and Mormonism has NO SHORTAGE of conforming. If you ever have any more questions, please feel free to ask them! I am always open to discussion and am very hard to offend. :)
Your Friend,
Shannon
So a friend just informed me of WHY women are allowed to wear pants at BYU. Like I said, absurdity.
"The story takes place the spring prior to the code being adjusted. A young woman, can't remember her name, currently a Utah state senator, needed to take a final. However, she also was needed to help with farm chores on her family farm several hours awayShe went early to help with the chores and then raced back to BYU to take her final. The only problem was that she forgot to change out of her work clothes, so when she arrived at the testing center they denied her access due to not fitting the dress code. Enraged, with no other options, she went downstairs to the girl's bathroom and took off her jeans and tied her windbreaker around her waist to look like a skirt. She was admitted in to take her test. The next Monday she wrote an article for the university newspaper explaining her surprise that according to the honor code it's not ok to take a final in her jeans, but taking one in her panties is just fine. :):)The policy was changed for the new school year."
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Where Has All The Civility Gone?
As I’m sure many of you are aware, there is a controversy going on right now in Salt Lake about a citation that was given to a gay couple for kissing on Temple Square. Now it is not the purpose of this blog to advocate for homosexuality (I could get kicked out of BYU if it was), but the conflict has made me aware of a disturbing trend in our society. A friend of mine posted a link on Facebook to an article about the citation and many people commented on the link. One person in particular was quite sarcastic and offensive in his response. Clearly he was offended by the article and the comments deploring the church’s actions. What is baffling to me, however, is why this man saw his anger and offense as a sufficient excuse to be sarcastic and insulting.
Anyone who knows me knows that I have QUITE the temper. And my favorite way to release this anger is by expressing it verbally. My roommate often makes the observation that the angrier I get, the more articulate I get. And yet I always try to be respectful to those I am angry with. I may yell at them and disagree 100% with their position, but I never insult who they are or what they believe (at least not to their face ;) ). Unfortunately, I’m beginning to see that this is a somewhat rare phenomenon.
Apparently our society has become comfortable with visceral responses to reasonable and valid concerns. Living as a liberal in a very conservative state, I just cannot understand when people attack me and my friends with such hate! Do I get angry at the church and BYU and Provo? YES! But do I yell at my conservative friends and use biting comments to discredit their beliefs? NO! If I do happen to get into an argument with my conservative friends, I do my best to present reasoned and fair arguments, and above all I try to show that I respect my associates even if I cannot abide their opinions. I save the biting comments for a select few whom I know will not be offended. And if I know I cannot be respectful and reasonable, I refrain from the conversation. Why is this so hard for some people to do?!
Now please do not misunderstand me. I do not dream for one minute that liberals are respectful and conservatives are not. Quite the contrary! I have known many a liberal friend to be visceral, close-minded, and disrespectful in their attitudes. My problem is not with liberal v. conservative. I actually enjoy the dichotomy these two viewpoints provide in my life. But I am concerned with the general lack of respect I see in today’s debates, ESPECIALLY online debates. Maybe it is easier to be rude when you are not looking someone in the eye, but it seems to me that we need to live up to the ideals we are spouting. Liberals in Utah say they are for more acceptance and loving of all people. Christian conservatives say they follow Jesus who teaches to love one another. Reading the debates on some of these online forums, however, one would think we were involved in age-old blood feuds of the kind Shakespeare wrote.
And so I send this question out into the electronic void: Where has all the civility gone and is it gone for good? I hope not. I hope we stop and control our anger before posting on the internet. I hope we respect people that are willing to express their ideas, even if we HATE those ideas. And even if people are hateful and insulting towards us, I hope we have the self-control to respond with reason and fairness, instead of a blind defense, or worse, offense. God gave us intelligence, we should use it.
Anyone who knows me knows that I have QUITE the temper. And my favorite way to release this anger is by expressing it verbally. My roommate often makes the observation that the angrier I get, the more articulate I get. And yet I always try to be respectful to those I am angry with. I may yell at them and disagree 100% with their position, but I never insult who they are or what they believe (at least not to their face ;) ). Unfortunately, I’m beginning to see that this is a somewhat rare phenomenon.
Apparently our society has become comfortable with visceral responses to reasonable and valid concerns. Living as a liberal in a very conservative state, I just cannot understand when people attack me and my friends with such hate! Do I get angry at the church and BYU and Provo? YES! But do I yell at my conservative friends and use biting comments to discredit their beliefs? NO! If I do happen to get into an argument with my conservative friends, I do my best to present reasoned and fair arguments, and above all I try to show that I respect my associates even if I cannot abide their opinions. I save the biting comments for a select few whom I know will not be offended. And if I know I cannot be respectful and reasonable, I refrain from the conversation. Why is this so hard for some people to do?!
Now please do not misunderstand me. I do not dream for one minute that liberals are respectful and conservatives are not. Quite the contrary! I have known many a liberal friend to be visceral, close-minded, and disrespectful in their attitudes. My problem is not with liberal v. conservative. I actually enjoy the dichotomy these two viewpoints provide in my life. But I am concerned with the general lack of respect I see in today’s debates, ESPECIALLY online debates. Maybe it is easier to be rude when you are not looking someone in the eye, but it seems to me that we need to live up to the ideals we are spouting. Liberals in Utah say they are for more acceptance and loving of all people. Christian conservatives say they follow Jesus who teaches to love one another. Reading the debates on some of these online forums, however, one would think we were involved in age-old blood feuds of the kind Shakespeare wrote.
And so I send this question out into the electronic void: Where has all the civility gone and is it gone for good? I hope not. I hope we stop and control our anger before posting on the internet. I hope we respect people that are willing to express their ideas, even if we HATE those ideas. And even if people are hateful and insulting towards us, I hope we have the self-control to respond with reason and fairness, instead of a blind defense, or worse, offense. God gave us intelligence, we should use it.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
In case you don't already have a reason to vote, take some of mine...
***This was originally posted on November 4th, 2008 (Election Day). I published it on my travel blog, but I felt it was more at home here, so I moved it over.***
A lot of people have been telling us to vote this year: celebrities, candidates, teachers, friends, strangers. But I still find many people that tell me they probably won't vote this election. A lot of people cite the fact that they don't really like any of the candidates and that they are sick of choosing the lesser of two evils. They say that one vote doesn't really count, and that they aren't really educated on the issues.
While I wish the above wasn't true, I have to concede that those are all valid reasons for not voting. One vote really doesn't count. It doesn't. Not in an national election anyway. Even in Florida, where it was so close, that was still 587 votes, not one. But I suppose that it could count in a city council election, or maybe in a state race. And after all, isn't that why we vote? I mean how much power does the president have over your daily life? Does he decide how much your speeding ticket is gonna cost you? Or where you can park your car? Does he decide how your school is going to be run, or how clean your city park is going to be, or how good public transportation is, or when hunting season ends? Probably not. But your local leaders do, and in those races, I'd like to venture that your vote really does count. So that's one reason...
Here's another: Voting is a fundamental part of this country's founding and identity. You honestly can't call yourself American if you don't vote because voting and having a voice was what it was all about back in 1776. The colonies weren't protesting taxes. That's not why they dumped a bunch of tea into a harbor. When you think about it, they had some of the lightest taxes in the British Kingdom, certainly less than what people that lived in England were paying. No, the reason they dumped the tea, the reason they started a war, and the reason they founded a country was because they didn't get to be apart of the decision to have taxes. No taxation without representation. That's what started this whole thing. That's what the founding fathers risked everything for. That's what our ancestors died for. That's what this country is founded upon. Voting. Representation. Having a voice. So there's another reason...
And now I'd like to add one more, that is a little more personal to me. I am personally asking you to vote today because you can. Because you know that no matter who or what you vote for, you can be assured that it will be counted and recorded and if you are with the majority, it will be enacted. As many of you know, I work in International Development. I spend my time learning about impoverished, oppressed nations that have little in the way of comfort, human rights, or even basic dignity. This summer, I went to Southeast Asia and visited Burma. Many people heard about Burma because of the Tsunami. In one day entire villages were swept away, thousands of people died, and fields full of rice were destroyed. People were starving. In the midst of all this, the military dictatorship forced people to stop scavenging for food and shelter (I say scavenging because the government was certainly not providing them with any help) and made them go vote for a bogus constitution that would "legitimize" the illegal and brutal regime there. And if you didn't vote in favor of the constitutional referendum, there was a good chance you would be beaten, or even killed. Oh, and the reason they need a constitutional referendum to "legitimize" their dictatorship is because some years ago, the country held a democratic election and elected Aung San Suu Kyi, a nobel peace prize winner. But of course the military dicatorship didn't like this result very much so she's been under house arrest for 15 years while her supporters have been beaten to death in prison.
Then there was the elections in Zimbabwe this summer. The dictator there has effectively destroyed the country, but fortunately there was a man smart enough and brave enough to challenge President Mugabe in a democratic election. Unfortunately, this man (who had already won a majority in a general election) was in so much danger that he had to flee the country while his supporters were beaten in the street by government-supported goons. President Mugabe won a second general election shortly thereafter.
Now I know that it's annoying to have everyone yelling at you to vote, and even more annoying to have someone guilt you into voting but I want to leave you all with this thought. When I was in Thailand I passed by a humble political rally one day. I asked one of the volunteers what the rally was about and she explained that it was a rally encouraging the Thai people to protect their constitution. The volunteer then asked where I was from. When I told her I was from America, she spent the next ten minutes explaining to me how wonderful my constitution was, that it's been around for two hundred years and that I was so lucky because my leaders had to follow what the constitution said no matter what. She just kept saying over and over how wonderful my constitution was and how lucky I was to have it and how lucky I was that I could vote because of it and that I could hold my leaders accountable because of it. She said I was lucky because I had so much power, so many rights...
I can't make the elections in Zimbabwe free and fair. I can't overthrow the brutal dictatorship in Burma. I can't even stop the recent coup that is destroying the Thai constitution. But I can respect all the people that suffer through these scenarios by exercising the gift and the right that I have been blessed to receive. Please, don't insult their hardships by tossing away the privilege you have like it was some kind of annoyance or burden. Vote. Vote because it counts. Vote because it's American. Vote because you know it will be counted, recorded, and adhered to. Vote simply because you can, and that is a rare and beautiful thing.
A lot of people have been telling us to vote this year: celebrities, candidates, teachers, friends, strangers. But I still find many people that tell me they probably won't vote this election. A lot of people cite the fact that they don't really like any of the candidates and that they are sick of choosing the lesser of two evils. They say that one vote doesn't really count, and that they aren't really educated on the issues.
While I wish the above wasn't true, I have to concede that those are all valid reasons for not voting. One vote really doesn't count. It doesn't. Not in an national election anyway. Even in Florida, where it was so close, that was still 587 votes, not one. But I suppose that it could count in a city council election, or maybe in a state race. And after all, isn't that why we vote? I mean how much power does the president have over your daily life? Does he decide how much your speeding ticket is gonna cost you? Or where you can park your car? Does he decide how your school is going to be run, or how clean your city park is going to be, or how good public transportation is, or when hunting season ends? Probably not. But your local leaders do, and in those races, I'd like to venture that your vote really does count. So that's one reason...
Here's another: Voting is a fundamental part of this country's founding and identity. You honestly can't call yourself American if you don't vote because voting and having a voice was what it was all about back in 1776. The colonies weren't protesting taxes. That's not why they dumped a bunch of tea into a harbor. When you think about it, they had some of the lightest taxes in the British Kingdom, certainly less than what people that lived in England were paying. No, the reason they dumped the tea, the reason they started a war, and the reason they founded a country was because they didn't get to be apart of the decision to have taxes. No taxation without representation. That's what started this whole thing. That's what the founding fathers risked everything for. That's what our ancestors died for. That's what this country is founded upon. Voting. Representation. Having a voice. So there's another reason...
And now I'd like to add one more, that is a little more personal to me. I am personally asking you to vote today because you can. Because you know that no matter who or what you vote for, you can be assured that it will be counted and recorded and if you are with the majority, it will be enacted. As many of you know, I work in International Development. I spend my time learning about impoverished, oppressed nations that have little in the way of comfort, human rights, or even basic dignity. This summer, I went to Southeast Asia and visited Burma. Many people heard about Burma because of the Tsunami. In one day entire villages were swept away, thousands of people died, and fields full of rice were destroyed. People were starving. In the midst of all this, the military dictatorship forced people to stop scavenging for food and shelter (I say scavenging because the government was certainly not providing them with any help) and made them go vote for a bogus constitution that would "legitimize" the illegal and brutal regime there. And if you didn't vote in favor of the constitutional referendum, there was a good chance you would be beaten, or even killed. Oh, and the reason they need a constitutional referendum to "legitimize" their dictatorship is because some years ago, the country held a democratic election and elected Aung San Suu Kyi, a nobel peace prize winner. But of course the military dicatorship didn't like this result very much so she's been under house arrest for 15 years while her supporters have been beaten to death in prison.
Then there was the elections in Zimbabwe this summer. The dictator there has effectively destroyed the country, but fortunately there was a man smart enough and brave enough to challenge President Mugabe in a democratic election. Unfortunately, this man (who had already won a majority in a general election) was in so much danger that he had to flee the country while his supporters were beaten in the street by government-supported goons. President Mugabe won a second general election shortly thereafter.
Now I know that it's annoying to have everyone yelling at you to vote, and even more annoying to have someone guilt you into voting but I want to leave you all with this thought. When I was in Thailand I passed by a humble political rally one day. I asked one of the volunteers what the rally was about and she explained that it was a rally encouraging the Thai people to protect their constitution. The volunteer then asked where I was from. When I told her I was from America, she spent the next ten minutes explaining to me how wonderful my constitution was, that it's been around for two hundred years and that I was so lucky because my leaders had to follow what the constitution said no matter what. She just kept saying over and over how wonderful my constitution was and how lucky I was to have it and how lucky I was that I could vote because of it and that I could hold my leaders accountable because of it. She said I was lucky because I had so much power, so many rights...
I can't make the elections in Zimbabwe free and fair. I can't overthrow the brutal dictatorship in Burma. I can't even stop the recent coup that is destroying the Thai constitution. But I can respect all the people that suffer through these scenarios by exercising the gift and the right that I have been blessed to receive. Please, don't insult their hardships by tossing away the privilege you have like it was some kind of annoyance or burden. Vote. Vote because it counts. Vote because it's American. Vote because you know it will be counted, recorded, and adhered to. Vote simply because you can, and that is a rare and beautiful thing.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Ladies and Gentlemen
For those of you that have stumbled upon this, I thought a brief introduction was in order. My name is Shannon and I am a student at Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah. Now I am sure that with this tiny bit of information, you are already forming several opinions and impressions of me. While this is fine and dandy, and even welcome (for why do we provide information about ourselves if not to create an impression), let me guide you away from some of the more obvious impressions. I am not Mormon, although I was when I came to school. And I continue to attend BYU despite my recent fall from grace.
Many of my friends ask me why I would choose to do this, and even more so how it is possible. To the latter, it is actually surprisingly easy if you are willing to live a clean life. To the former, I like my major, my job, my friends, and my mentors and am loath to start all over at a new school. Especially when one considers that I SHOULD have graduated a year ago. But I digress. I am a Sociology Major with a minor in International Development. What that sentence really means is that I have an over-developed sense of justice and have decided to spend my life studying injustice and how to rectify it. This will probably result in me being generally distressed and not much fun at a party, but it also happens to be the thing I am most passionate about and will therefore do it till my dying day, (or at least until I have a mental breakdown and retire to New Zealand).
Now for the reason I am starting this new blog. As I was reading a two-page email I had written aloud to my roommate today, she commented on "how is it that you're so damn articulate?" This reminded me about how often I was complemented on my writing in high school (granted, half of the complements come from my mother and therefore do not count, but still). It also reminded me how much I truly enjoy writing (as indicated by the two-page emails that are not difficult for me to conjure up). Couple this with my over-active sense of justice and as my roommate puts it, my "need to have an opinion about EVERYTHING", I realized I should start keeping a regular blog. Posts will most likely range from rants about societal injustice, intellectual exploration of the complicated world of development, inter- and intra- personal discoveries and wonderings, and of course, the paradoxical experience of being an ex-Mormon in Provo AND attending BYU. Read at your own risk and above all, enjoy.
Many of my friends ask me why I would choose to do this, and even more so how it is possible. To the latter, it is actually surprisingly easy if you are willing to live a clean life. To the former, I like my major, my job, my friends, and my mentors and am loath to start all over at a new school. Especially when one considers that I SHOULD have graduated a year ago. But I digress. I am a Sociology Major with a minor in International Development. What that sentence really means is that I have an over-developed sense of justice and have decided to spend my life studying injustice and how to rectify it. This will probably result in me being generally distressed and not much fun at a party, but it also happens to be the thing I am most passionate about and will therefore do it till my dying day, (or at least until I have a mental breakdown and retire to New Zealand).
Now for the reason I am starting this new blog. As I was reading a two-page email I had written aloud to my roommate today, she commented on "how is it that you're so damn articulate?" This reminded me about how often I was complemented on my writing in high school (granted, half of the complements come from my mother and therefore do not count, but still). It also reminded me how much I truly enjoy writing (as indicated by the two-page emails that are not difficult for me to conjure up). Couple this with my over-active sense of justice and as my roommate puts it, my "need to have an opinion about EVERYTHING", I realized I should start keeping a regular blog. Posts will most likely range from rants about societal injustice, intellectual exploration of the complicated world of development, inter- and intra- personal discoveries and wonderings, and of course, the paradoxical experience of being an ex-Mormon in Provo AND attending BYU. Read at your own risk and above all, enjoy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
